Unsent text message to James

You probably hate me but i really did care about you I knew that you were fighting and internal battle every time I was near you so I avoided even looking at you i actively avoided you your work place and limited myself to 3 visits a week I even talked to some you worked with told tell me when you were rostered so I…

Ok, in retrospect I should have tried the in person apology 3 years ago.

It would have brought things to this anticlimatic endind a lot faster and without all the turmoil.

Though to be fair the turmoil was part of the journey.

I don’t get it. Logically I just feel like I should let all of this go. I just have so much to achieve and learn and energy that can go to helping people… and I want to do that.

I miss you and I actually do care about you. I want you to be okay. I want your soul reassured and well rested. That you know fear and…

The person who you became in the last week of our breakup is not somebody that I recognize. Our relationship was filled with so much love, playful banter & appreciation of the other. When you called me to break up with me, your once jolly voice was the coldest I’ve ever heard it. I did nothing to you but love you and…

Just once i wiah you would apeak to me. One laat time. I aaw you look away with tears in your eyes. I kmow you thought i would come back but honestly...why would i? I saw rhe game. You know I saw it. I know I'm not perfect. But i would never speak about another woman in front of you. You knew i wanted to f-ck K. I…

you ******* sucked as a partner. you didn’t protect me. you didn’t care about my needs, only yours. i didn’t matter to you. my love didn’t matter to you. i feel used by you. i feel so weak. you didn’t love me enough to not sleep with her. you didn’t love me enough to tell me what you were going through. you didn’t…