iMessage
you ******* sucked as a partner. you didn’t protect me. you didn’t care about my needs, only yours. i didn’t matter to you. my love didn’t matter to you. i feel used by you. i feel so weak. you didn’t love me enough to not sleep with her. you didn’t love me enough to tell me what you were going through. you didn’t love me enough to support me. you didn’t love me. you only loved being loved by me but you didn’t love ME. if you had loved me, you would’ve told me not to move in with you. if you loved me, you wouldn’t have continuously denied my reality and told me to be curious about someone that clearly wasn’t meeting either of our needs. if you loved me, you would have slept with me more, you would have kissed me, you would’ve made sure i knew i was yours. you didn’t make me feel wanted. you made me feel overworked, overwhelmed and overlooked. i was invisible to you.
you were my best friend. i just wanted you. i was only there for you. so much of my time and energy was trying to reach you. trying to get you to see me. did you ever see me? was my love just not enough for you? i am the only one that was consistently showing up for you. you never gave me that same consistency. i’m so ******* hurt, frustrated and angry with you.
i still love you. my heart still beats for you. i just want to talk to you. for us to say our peace. i just need you to kiss me one last time. if you really meant to never talk to you again, then i will but can i please just hug you one last time? i feel like all of this would be less painful if you had just kissed me or hugged me or told me goodbye. you didn’t even tell me goodbye.
i miss you so much. i know you’re not a bad person, i would never think you are. i just miss you so much. im back in our city, hoping we run into each other. will you run away from me if you saw me?
maybe you would. maybe you wouldn’t. at this point, idk. you aren’t who i thought you were. once i’ve moved on, there is no coming back and i will move on. i will find someone that loves me and chooses me. for now, i will process my grief through these words.
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