iMessage
If I texted you and told you that every day, I realize more and more just how little you care about me. My heart has broken so many times that I don't know how it still beats. The things you say in arguments, the things you've done... I'm really just disposable. Aren't I? I don't think I ever stopped being her place holder. And I think you're acting the way you are now, because you've done something. So you drink, act like an ***, and push me away. Why did I even answer you? I shouldn't have even texted back. And now you've gone completely silent after calling me a liar, getting proof that I'm not. You are so mean to me. You are almost never there for me. You have broken up with me so many times. You leave me when I need you most. I don't want to be your favorite game anymore. I know now that nothing will make you actually want to marry me one day. I kept thinking that maybe one day you'd just love me consistently one day. And it just never happened. So I'm crying. I'm crying because I slept 2 hours again today and then you text me to be an ***. I wish so badly that I could fall back asleep. I'd do anything. But of course not. You had to make sure you wrecked my nervous system as soon as you woke up, to then disappear. Again. Do you ever look in the mirror and see how cruel you can be? I can't even look in the mirror anymore. Staying made me end up hating pretty much everything about myself. And I don't want to be here. So I just never look. Where'd you go this time, M? Someone with priority now?
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