Unsent text message to Christopher

I wanted to wait to write you something long, detailed, genuine and heartfelt

I still will tonight but…

I’ve just missed you so much in the interim I’m coming here

It’s hard to concentrate on anything right now…

I’m sorry that I hurt you even though I love you deeply.I deleted everything I wrote to you on here. My heart hurts too much. Constantly. I am sorry. I love you but I know for certain now that changes nothing for you. I was under the impression that you were across the world in another continent and blamed the…

I am not a patient person...

But I wait for you.

I am stubborn as hell...

But I let go of my wants for you…

Your eyes are ready for takeoff. Melts in your head. What a beautiful state we are in. Good night and another bad morning.

been sorry about anything you’ve done to I posted. I apologized over and over again to make sure that you knew it wasn’t my intent and to try to fix what I had done you’re not sorry you’ll never apologize and it makes no difference to you whether or not I’m hurt or sad or. I don’t even want you to call anymore because…

good for you in finding somebody to love and moving on I’m not you. I can’t do that and honestly, I don’t wanna tell anyone anything because if I tell them they could use it against me later or maybe I’ll get attached and then they’ll leave. You showed me how not to love. Thank you I can make sure I’m protected.