Unsent text message to Noah

i miss you most on nights like this

i just want to call you up and ask you if you wanna join me on an evening wander

i'm hurt by past actions i don't understand. this is true

but i could never ever hate you…

so is that why I was never good enough always secretly hate that why you couldn’t show me any you’ve always hated didn’t wanna say it but now I know that’s why you had to fight until I cried that’s why you never could say you were sore or feel bad about any of it cause you hated me the whole time I don’t need to hear…

To come to terms with the idea that I could bring out the worst in someone. 😔

I can’t listen to any more of the you hate me. I wasn’t worth it if I would’ve just waited more like another two years maybe you could’ve show me kindness that you know. I don’t wanna listen to any more lies. I am so sorry that I loved you.

you weren't so tall.

what were you even doing in my house???

I should have known better than to think you would show kindness. u opened up my heart and you just always throw it away. now I am quietly crying in the bathroom so LA doesn’t have to see me cry about you again. I should never have thought you cared