Unsent text message to Ava

you weren't so tall.

what were you even doing in my house???

I should have known better than to think you would show kindness. u opened up my heart and you just always throw it away. now I am quietly crying in the bathroom so LA doesn’t have to see me cry about you again. I should never have thought you cared

I wanted to wait to write you something long, detailed, genuine and heartfelt

I still will tonight but…

I’ve just missed you so much in the interim I’m coming here

It’s hard to concentrate on anything right now…

I’m sorry that I hurt you even though I love you deeply.I deleted everything I wrote to you on here. My heart hurts too much. Constantly. I am sorry. I love you but I know for certain now that changes nothing for you. I was under the impression that you were across the world in another continent and blamed the…

I am not a patient person...

But I wait for you.

I am stubborn as hell...

But I let go of my wants for you…

Your eyes are ready for takeoff. Melts in your head. What a beautiful state we are in. Good night and another bad morning.