Unsent text message to Brian

Did you care about me?

Did you care about my favorite songs?

Did you care about my well-being?

Did you care about my happiness…

Something completely stupid happened and my first thought was “I need to tell you this.”

Then I remembered I don't really get to do that anymore.

Which is such a weird thing to get used to.

I can go through an entire day without thinking about you and then some tiny thing will happen and suddenly you're right there again…

Yeah so he told me he came over to twist a screw 🤣 Oh no gosh. How is he still friends with you? Seriously! How? He’s too good for you dude.

I realised something huge about everything that had happened yesterday. It was like my destroyed heart was screaming for my brain to hear its last words and it took until near midnight to hear it...

I love you, I have fallen in love with you and I didn't want or think it was possible for this to happen again but it…

I’m still so hurt… I hate what u did to us. Y couldn’t u of been honest with me about everything? Were u scared? Is this because you’re too scared to fall deep for someone again because how your ex was? I’d never lay a hand on or hate u. Just tell me you’re scared and will work on it and possibly therapy with me. But…

I miss my friend. I miss the dreams we shared. I miss the late night talks. I miss laying next to you and running my fingers through your hair. I know we can never be that again and you chose that I just miss being your person. I hate having so much anger for you. I really wish our ending was a better story. Our time…