Unsent text message to Ryan

I saw a text on here that reminded me of you... I so desparately want it to be you. Every fibre of my being still wants you but I left because you were hurting me and you don't love me, so I had to leave and get over you. But I still wake up from heartaches because my subconscious grieves so heavily.

I wonder what you…

I know i shouldn't say it. I know its to soon, but I love you. Nothing will change that. I know that saying it will risk what we have. I know that saying it will run the risk of making you run. I know that saying it makes me scared. I know ...i just know in my heart I love you.....

Breaking our vows hurt, but it didn't change how deeply I love you. You will always be my soulmate, and I believe we belong together. Handing you this divorce is breaking my heart into a million pieces, but if walking this road eventually guides us back to one another, I’d go through it all over again.

What do you want? And why are you asking about me again? I have no beef with you nor do i want the drama so just leave me alone and stop keeping tabs on me too while you're at it. I won't entertain stupid **** anymore as i have too much going on right now and can't have your life spilling into mine and causing me…

I'm sorry for everything I have done to you. for staying this far. for all of your dreams that I came short and never make it happen. for becoming me. You were right. You always were. And I always knew.

but it's ridiculous now isn't it? It's too late for anything. suns of our world are all set. rains pour sorrow in our…

I know you have moved country. I have my sources. I’m happy for you and I’m glad you did. I think if we got back together you would’ve stayed in the UK and that’s probably not what’s best for you right now.

I do still have love for you, despite everything that’s happened from both sides.

The things that separated us are…