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Many times,I think how my friends enjoy and feel safe in their home,rather when someone ask me about this,I don't hesitate at all but 'enjoy' is still a question for me.I couldn't remember when we laughed together.We could spend very rare time with each other and that's is memorable but a lil upsetting too.Like when we friends are around,all they are saying about their family spending time here and there,their funny and cherishing moments but I could rarely speak at all.Everyone says listen to your parents,they never thought of your failure.This is completely true and I am agree with it but sometimes the words they say by anger hits like a huge bomb.
The worst part is when it hits and u have nobody nearby to speak about this.U cry,wipe out you own tears,make yourself understand and this activity makes u that stronger that u stop crying in front of others.Many time my friends make fun of me because I didn't cry,they say you are too detached from your family so u didn't have emotional issue.Hell,who will say them what I feel always,I am not good at explaining at all and if I say anything they will say it never happens but it is.They have better surroundings and they will never understand this survival.The hope that someday we will spend much each other time ,it is fading day by day as I am a growing girl.Before, Outsiders take much advantage of it because all I crave for is love ,peace,time, emotional support and a little attachment left a heavy mark on me and now as a grown lady,I realised if u re not loved by your family,u can't never be loved outside.I didn't say that my family don't love me but the emotional support was so weak that it fades every memories,may be we have made by-mistaken and now,it feels better to be alone rather than hoping for love from anywhere even from the family too.
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