Unsent text message to Connor

Today, I revealed that I've resented her for years and my love is long gone. That her abusive nature is why I'm as distant as I am. Maybe if you were still by my side, I would've had the courage to go all the way. I guess we'll never know.

I'm exhausted from trying to fix things with you. I'm exhausted from trying my hardest to trust you again. Your b******* excuses don't help your case in the slightest. Please understand, if you cannot stop lying through your teeth, I am going to disappear out of your life.

A question has been on my mind for a while.

At what point does one's actions become unforgivable? Is it possible to understand that I've changed? Have you? Am I capable of forgiving you? Are you capable of doing the same for me?

Sometimes I hope the answer will be like a lighthouse finally navigating this ship to…

Hey Friend, I’m trying to figure out this friendship thing, and honestly, I’m not sure I’m doing it right. Is it okay for a friend to appreciate your smile? To feel that little tingle when you smile at her? To have something as simple as your smile brighten her entire day without you even realising you’ve done it? Is…

so please leave me alone. Stop walking to the station with us, stop getting the same train as us there’s one every 10 minutes, stop appearing in the kitchen as soon as I’m in there, stop cornering me and forcing me to make conversation, stop using the toilets furthest from your office so you have to walk past mine…

You wanted to use me for my body and told me all the sweet things just to ghost the second you figured I wasn’t going to be submissive to you or give you what you want. Yuck. Dodged a massive bullet.