iMessage
I care about you. More than just a friend. I feel silly even writing it out. We’re supposed to just be friends. All I want is friendship.
All I wanted.. was friendship. (Is what I keep telling myself)
Even when I’m with you I just feel complete loyalty and comraderie. There’s no lust, no insane passion or tension. It’s just calm and peaceful. It’s fun and uplifting. Childlike and joyful! It’s everything that only afterwards I sit with and chew on. Only afterwards I struggle to swallow because it felt so free and right.
Something about our friendship inspires and invigorates me. And I slightly hate that I might be the only one feeling this way.
I’m hoping with time it’ll go away. You clearly don’t want anything with me and that’s ok. But eventually our friendship might have to fade into an acquaintance. Especially once you’ve decided to date someone seriously. Why? There’s too much natural love and care between us for it to not be suspicious or threatening to anyone. For it to not be unfair to any serious partner you might decide to have.
This is all new territory for me and I’m trying. I’m trying not to run from the vulnerability this connection makes me feel. From how triggered I feel knowing there’s rejection I choose to lean into, and love through non-romantic friendship I hope to cultivate.
I respect how you hold back. I love how your friendship is consistent and real. I love how you love and follow through.
But I mourn the day I’ll no longer feel the pull of you as my soulmate. I mourn the day the path will fade with every step chosen in a different direction.
But I will hold your heart and love with so much gratitude for the genuine light you brought into my life.
🐱
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