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Hey D..the title is what I changed your name in my phone to. I wish you would just apologize for ghosting and tell me why saying what I said scared you so much.. the truth is, if we were going to be friends, I couldn’t move forward without talking about it. it wouldn’t have been fair to either of us.. but the thing is, I could have still been a friend. The way I see it, if I hadn’t of said anything and we hung out, we probably would have gotten ourselves into more trouble. This way, we could have just talked it out and even if you didn’t feel the same, I would have been okay. Like really.. but instead of talking, you decided running away was better. Now, I am hurt and that sucks.. because I really thought for how long we’ve been each others lives, that you would at least respect me still for being honest and that you would know you could be honest with me. I would have appreciated that over silence.
I need to let this go, but every time I think I am, it creeps back in. I really didn’t expect for it to hurt this much.. and the thing is, If you texted me even just saying hi and pretending like nothing happened, I would reply and it wouldn’t be mean like you probably have built it up in your head to seem like I would be. I am not that type of person. we all have **** going on in our lives and feelings from the past, present, and future. Your feelings are valid, and I wish you would let me show you that.
For now, I am writing this as a way to get it out and hopefully stop the looping. 4months of this, and it still hurts. Probably more than it should. but that’s a me problem for not being able to take the hint and let it go.
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