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I notice it. I notice how to you im just not there right? Sometimes i just keep wishing from thr people around me to look at me with love and come in and just save me from , from me just believing that im truly alone.
No one comes tho .its not like a loud crying wish , its mostly supress by the heavy goals and burdens ive places upon myself but in admist of those moments , when everything is so loud , i start to care if im loved by someone. I dont like it .
I told you i am so mad rn . Not a response to it . Not a "why?" , a " tell me? " Or anything , we are different, really ,really ,really different,
I want to care for u , i want to tell you that i love , gentlly, loudly , silently , at ur back ... always
That sets us upart tho , you dont have it in you , maybe cuz u lost ur feelings towards me , but i remember.
I remember how once my pain used to make u feel ...idk , it makes you want to ask me if im okay , and you used to love me , u used to care for me like im the only one
Hey its not like i dont see you caring for me it inflicts in your voice , but i also wonder is it only the love and attention im giving u keeping you here , or its my company?
You do wish that u never met me.
You do wish that i never touched your hair.
You do wish that u didnt msg me that day again.
You do wish u never loved me.
You wish you u could just forget about me.
I dont think youd keep me around if i wasnt offerings it
Cuz at the end of the day , you dont love me now.
You like what im giving u , company
Wish you could see how much everything hurts me and no one to ask how im doing , i truly love you ekta but , it leaves me so lonely.
Its okay. Its really okay man , ill do it , i can do it
Its harsh but , youll push through it , you promised dadi right?
You promised your child self that used to cry alone
You promised ur now u.
If people cant be the beacon toy suffering , it wont change what i am , ill be that for others around me , ill be full of love
It hurts but ill keep pushing alone if that is
I always do.
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