Unsent text message to Sydney

Yesterday you told me you don’t know if we can continue doing what we’re doing almost as if you’re scared to lose me entirely. And I think maybe when I said if I did find someone I would end this thing between us. And that I’d tell you and have a conversation with you and not just leave. But I didn’t elaborate…you’ve…

Can you be the one to show up this time? The one to make the journey and put everything on the line. Would you do what I already have before? I miss your presence in my life. But I also know you wouldn’t do it. I don’t know. I just want to hear it come from you. I’ve asked you questions that you’ve never given me…

You said you still loved me but I don’t have as much confidence that you do. It has been three weeks. I won’t contact you - you said you’d contact me. And as every day passes, I think, He may never. This may be it.

I still feel so lost. I stopped going on dates because it became so clear I wouldn’t find what we had and…

you just added to the problem. you created a black hole of issues for me. left, right, up, down. you were never satisfied. I could never miss that.

you were less of a teammate and more of an enemy. now I’m playing too

Don’t wake me up. Just let me sleep. Not seeing/speaking to you all of September was hard. And I know it was hard for you. I’m sorry.

Think about how much I love you, then think about our situation. You really are a lying monster