Unsent text message to Austin

i was there for you every step of the f****** way. i helped you, I was there, I f****** loved you and all you could do was cheat. f*** you.

you had the f****** nerve to phone me the day he split up with you and try and help you guys get back together. I was stupid enough to entertain you. f*** you.

I'm not okay, im…

Will you be attending friendsgiving this year?

I want to forgive you, I really do. I'd love nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were, but that can never happen.

You said some truly awful things to me, and I still can't get them out of my head a year later. What did I do to have you speak to me that way? Try and support you?

You're a mean drunk…

My favorite letter is z Z will always be the best to me No matter where you go no matter what you do I will always be in love with you

And even if you were id be the last person you'd consider but I find peace with you. I dont have to be a person, I can just exist. When I'm with you im not worried about how I look or how I sound. When I'm with you I can be the gross silly little sleepy goblin I am. That's pretty rare for me but then again so are you.

I don’t know if you think just leaving me on read and not responding is enough of an answer. I get that I guess, but all you have to do is tell me to stick around or go. Why leave me in complete limbo? You want me out of your life I will go. I just wish there was some answer. Don’t make me out to be someone who…