Unsent text message to Michael

I know I desperately need to just cut the cord and be done with it, but God it's so hard to bring myself to do it.

Years of precious memories with you that I can see the perfect way to preserve. I can see the path clearly in my mind, the path to understand each other and be what we were again.

I can see that path…

It's been five and a half years, N. When we met, we were just kids. When we eventually went our different ways, we were barely adults. Now I have a fiancee, and you have a husband. You graduated with your bachelor's and moved 400 miles away. I dropped out of university and enrolled at a local community college. I…

Hey so you probably blocked me but if not *** was that? Like I know in the beginning we worked together and it would’ve been awkward to pretend I didn’t exist considering the circumstances but there was a whole extra year of your back and forth bs after that and I just ??? Are you genuinely just that emotionally…

I think there is a reason why we didn't work. We can only get so close before we to trigger each other. This cycle is tiring.

You are hella smart, and resourceful. I think you were right to walk out all those years ago. Why did you make a half-assed attempt at returning?

To play with my feelings? Make sure I'm not…

I am starting an ASL club at my school but somehow I still feel just as empty as before

I know I said it’s cool, but I’m honestly not so sure anymore. Maybe it’s best to leave things as they are…?