Unsent text message to Leah

You think I’m a bad person for what I did and I don’t disagree with you, I think I’m a bad person too. I wanted you and that’s true l but I knew you’d leave so I had to hurt you so you wouldn’t hurt me first. What a cop out- an excuse, but at least it’s honesty. Honesty is something you always wanted, so I guess it’d…

The topic of you made it into my therapy session today. I finally told the story of how amazing you were to me and how I couldn’t handle it at the time. My therapist thinks it’s because you loved me for me and I didn’t have to prove myself or my value to you - which is a foreign concept to me. Despite all of the…

I will give in. You know I’ll cave. You know I want you. You know I miss you. You know you have my heart even if you threw it away. Let me love you for one last magical night, or weekend let’s lock ourselves away for like 24 hours, skin on skin, eye to eye. Or I know we could really enjoy a nice long hug that lasts…

I never stopped and I never will

**** your “I’m sorry.” I’m sure you are.

if you said, “lo siento,” I might arch an eyebrow. Maybe. But no promises. otherwise, blow it out your ***.

I’m sorry for upsetting you by sending those things. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel guilty. I think, honestly, I was just trying to find some way to give myself the closure I couldn’t seem to find on my own, so I could finally let go and move forward. The hardest part is accepting that someone I cared…