Unsent text message to Peyton

I saved a lizard from a spiderweb today. And then it wriggled and jumped from my hand. And landed on its spine. And then the lizard stopped moving. And then its skin turned clear. Should’ve been me.

For a while now, getting over you was never something I thought was possible. Even now I’m still somewhat convinced you were the one and maybe it was just wrong timing and we will be together in the future. Even then, I can feel reality closing in on me. I know that this feeling is just hope, there is no truth to it…

I always loved the way you looked at me, but now you dont. Eyes that once sparkled when I walked into the room, now do their best to avoid me.

I always loved the way you laughed with me. Now everytime I hear it, it feels like youre laughing at me.

I always loved the way you smiled. Now when I see you smile I know its…

I did hope I would share this victory with you. But ill celebrate this win alone. Things weren't really working out. But this today proved then when I really go after something I can succeed. So, the next thing I want is a relationship with my kids. Not a female. Females will come because I've been hitting the gym and…

We aren't on emotional speaking terms, but you’re the only person I feel comfortable telling this to. Everyday feels harder and harder than the last, and I’m losing myself in the process. I don't want to carry on with this, it’s all becoming too much. I wish we could go back to the days where we just went out…

I think sometimes I reached for you for the same reason you reached for me. I was lonely or I needed someone. For whatever it’s worth I do understand I’m someone that you only reached to occasionally and that never considered me a friend. I know you never liked me I know you never cared. I just served a functional…