Unsent text message to Isaac

I always have to tell a lie. I think it would help in the long run, to spare your feelings. But the truth is life’s never really work out. The truth always comes out. So please listen to my truths

You want asked if it felt good I said, of course, baby, you make me feel better than anyone Truth is it was weird as ****…

I guess the better question is “how many times do you have to show me that you do not want this”? The answer should be one. For you, and him, and him, and that other guy too.

I hate how jaded I’m becoming. It will suck if someone new comes along that is even remotely interested in love. I want to be who I am. Does…

Everything people spread about me- I can see how they would get that and run with it- but- there’s two sides to everything and the failure lies in not seeking out the shared truth on both sides. Then running with their preferred truth as fact-spreading it- feeding off people’s validation- falsely making themselves…

I was lazy often, I was terrified often, I was weak often and I was reactive often. I am responsible for myself and I put way too much of how I felt on you. We needed marriage counseling when we were together but we never took the plunge. We knew our own faults and wanted to live in the delusion that the other was to…

Welp. All those playlists we shared, the ones you asked for, ones i just made to be nice, don't mean anything to you? Today i saw you aren't on them anymore as a collaborator or saved by you. Kind of broke my heart because i really did hope that some day we could be friends again, even though i told you i didn't know…

Sometimes I wish I had your number. Not so I could say anything dramatic. Just a simple hello. I wonder what I’d do if I could actually reach for my phone and send it. Would you smile when you saw my name? Would you wonder why I was messaging you? Would you reply straight away… or leave me staring at my screen…