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You were my best friend for a large part of my adult life. Knowing you were at home is what helped bolster me against a lot of hardship in those years.
I miss your laugh. Your sense of humor. The joy you found in all your little hobbies. I miss being close to you.
Letting go of my best friend, to preserve what love still remained, is kind of a grief I don't think I'll ever get over.
To be tucked away and come to the surface, from time to time.
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After everything that happened, even the parts you probably don't know about, I don't hate you. You spent eight years refusing to even look at me because of something you did and decided it was easier to push me away then to just talk to me. I know I had my part in it, but I don't think you realized, or just didn't…
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I’ve removed you like 2-3x bc I hate how avoidant you are and tell myself I deserve someone who can give me the attention I want, but I always miss you. You literally told me you’re not good for my mental health, I guess there’s some truth to that after all.
After removing you the last time, I instantly regretted it so…
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Babe when you get closer, I wanna run away
when you get farther, I wanna come your way
you make me feel loved, you make me feel trapped
you make me go fast, you make me go slow…
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You may have been just as confused as I was, perhaps even more so. I'm just going to keep an open mind I guess. No reason not to anymore
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glomps u
ur awesome sauce \^~\^
cmere let me luv u
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I've spent so many nights in hotel rooms like that with you that the room itself has a connection to you. On the drive to meet someone, I caught myself imagining that it was you, the version I fell in love with. I would have been flying sky high, not just looking forward to a fun repeat experience.
Instead I walked…
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