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I’ve started to realise that after every good moment, there always seems to be a bad one waiting. And today was the bad one. I smiled at you, and you gave me a blank look. Not just once. All day. And ****, it hurt. Because how can you look at me like I matter one day, then make me feel like I don’t exist the next? Maybe it’s my overthinking mind. Maybe I’ve imagined every look, every moment, every little thing I’ve held onto because I wanted it to mean something. But today made it sink in deeper. Maybe this really is unrequited. I told myself I was content to keep these feelings silent. To feel them quietly and never ask anything from you. But today made me realise how ******* hard that is. I said nothing. I carried on like I was fine, while inside I was questioning everything. And you’ll probably never know that. You’ll never know how much one day like today can undo me. Tomorrow I’ll probably smile again. Pretend nothing happened. Pretend I’m okay. But tonight, I’m left wondering if I’ve been feeling something that was never there for you. And that ******* hurts. Because I can handle loving you in silence. What I don’t know how to handle is feeling completely alone in it.
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