Unsent text message to Harper

I hope I forget about your face, the way you smile makes me ache, the way you laugh makes me cry. The thought of you not loving me makes me sick. I hope everything you made me feel, the sorrows and pain, the happiness and joy. I hope all of this was real. But I hope I can forget the way your love makes everything so…

I got plans this weekend to celebrate this milestone coming up.

You want to come or do I need to find somebody else?

I saw your activity on spotify today and it made me so sad for some reason. I had a busy day, but you barely left my mind. It’s now been 4 days since we last talked. I miss you so much. I still hope you’ll be home, waiting for me when I get back.

I love you from the deepest crevice of my rotten heart.

Good night, my…

one day I love you, the next I hate you.

I wrote this in my notes. Idk if I’ll ever send them to him but I definitely need to share them with someone. Please be kind.

I need to be honest, I need more and I want more. Mutual desire for commitment, consistency, growth and communication. Ive been trying to understand and find the balance between our wants, needs…

It's been so long and I just wish I could apologize. I've done the inner work - you were right, we both had to, it wasn't our time then. Here I am now, a new me. And with everything I've learned about the things that go on in our brains, and the things that afflict you which may have caused and steered the things you…