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I said I miss you alot today. Because I heard a song that we both love. Galaxie by blind melon. When I heard it at first a rush of emotion flooded up from my belly. And in that moment I wished we were in the car singing loud, smokong weed, no cares. But you dont want me anymore. I ****** that up and im sorry. I did everything I could to make you happy, walked through hell for you. And would again if you did but ask it of me. But you dont need me for anything. You never did. You didnt need me to save you. I was just another step for you. Im sorry I failed our family. Im sorry I wasnt as good of a man as I could have been. I know im sorry doesnt mean ****. You know everything I do is to distract me from how much I miss you. And though I have made new friends and have been into someone, I think of you often. And it never ceases to make me feel low. Like really low. Like a deep pain inside me that wont ever be healed, it only bleeds, from where you put the knife, and after you put it there I prompty took it out and handed it back to you and said, I love you...
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