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im clearly not an expert because it’s been so long and here i am still holding on but
i think im getting better at letting go
im accepting that you simply didn’t feel the same
and i of course don’t blame you, it’s not your fault you don’t feel a certain way towards me
you fell in love with her and i can’t even hate you for it
because if i truly love you like i say
i should be able to let the the idea of us go
and let you live in peace not to be bothered by me again
im sorry i bothered you too
looking back i am embarrassed by how heavy i came on
i dont know why i though it was mutual but i guess when you want something bad though you convince yourself it can be mutual ?
i guess im still figuring it all out but sometimes it’s hard
ill think of you and get sad because of how much i still care
like care in the way if you had a good or bad day
if something bothered you or maybe something great happened(i always like hearing good news im so used to bad news)
but then i remind myself that you don’t want me around or want me to care
so then i tell myself im schizophrenic and none of it happened
because truly, does it matter what i tell myself
it’s done and dead anyway
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