Unsent text message to Kyle

Hey Babe,

I have had a bad day, you know this already, you knew before I did.

I have to ask: How did you know? Don’t answer, I‘m not sure I even want to know.

I’m so ******* mad at myself right now. I tried to cut you off 3 times in 24hrs and every time you held firm „I‘m right here. Stop thrashing.“…

We were inseparable. I made you so happy, as you did me. It was so equal, so easy to trust and so fast. I never doubted you, not really. I was your number one fan. You were my best friend. I adored you. We were the best reason I ever had to reach the days end. That's all I needed. It was so totally enough to come home…

My PHQ and GAD score won’t be great tomorrow.

Nothing different over here.

i'm trying really, really hard. you said this "really sucks". i don't think you know how badly this sucks for me, at least. it sucks more than most things that have happened to me, and that's saying A LOT. Some days just feel like a lie. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? I only want to share all this BLAH with one…

hope you have a good one. get some pumpkin pie. miss you lol.

JUST STOP AND REACH OUT IM SORRY.