Unsent text message to Anthony

Guess who’s been up probably for way too long

When I asked you to take your time and think, I meant it. You’ve done nothing wrong. But I wish you would hurry up. As time passes I only keep missing you. I’d do anything to see your name on my caller ID even at this hour. I know you’re awake, and alone. If you came to see me, could this finally be over? Can I…

I know it's wrong that I shouldn't play along and play the part so well because im bored. I made you feel special and like I really expected more from us then passing the time had you playing house and talking about a future on your land with me being youe wife . It was fun while it lasted. And when it's was over it…

I know it’s ridiculous, but sometimes I get this sick feeling in my stomach now that you aren’t in my life and I search to make sure you didn’t like die or something. I get so freaked by your silence especially after how long it’s been since you’ve said anything and then I go down like a 2 minute panic attack rabbit…

I changed my number recently, and I realized I don't really have a way to check in on you anymore. I still see you around town occasionally—at the store, at the park—but with time and your new look, you feel like a stranger now. Maybe in some ways, you always were.

I just wanted to put it out into the universe that I…

You are where you want to be. It’s not with me.