Unsent text message to Lucas

You are still the one person my mind always returns to. If you wanted me, I would be yours. We could work toward building our lives so that they could fit together in a couple of years.

I’m tired of fighting against it. Just say the word. I would be yours.

I’m constantly caught in this loop of missing you and other…

358 to 356 Who is the other one?

As the screams resounded.

Just out of ear shot.

As my body failed me.

The poisons taking their course…

I want to be wanted. I hate feeling like I don't know where I stand. I know you are going through stuff but you arent forthcoming. I want to be desired. I want you to prove me wrong. I cant be in the dark corner and watch another girl in the front row.

Its obvious your attention is elsewhere. I have to cut my loses…

I am never speaking to you again. I’m selling all your **** tomorrow too. I hate you. I hate myself for staying. I’m no longer entangled in your cruel abuse. **** you for breaking my heart and who I was as a person. I wish nothing but the absolute worse for you.

I disappeared without a word.

I know I said I wouldn’t do that again. I meant it when I said it. I thought if the day ever came that I had to leave, I would explain myself. I thought I owed you that much after all these years.

But what was left to explain?

You knew where my heart was. You knew what hurt me. You knew what…