iMessage
I feel like everything has truly crumbled apart for me. I really tried to do my best. In everything. My best is never and will never be truly good enough. The process isn’t even fun. I feel so ******* tired crawling through life. It’s hard. The payoff is next to none. I have nothing to look forward to, and I’ve tried. I used to love everything. And be so hopeful and excited. This world is so ******* evil. Evil runs the world in every direction. You people walking through this life. You’re evil too. You’re ******* mean to people. You judge. You lack real empathy. You find joy in the pain of others. You pull out your phones so you can show the pain to the rest of the world. Your beauty standards make me feel putrid. Like a **** stain in everyone’s line of sight. You want everyone skinnier and skinnier. I can’t get anymore skinny yet I’m not skinny enough. How come I’ve felt as though I’m not worthy of love unless you all think I’m ********? How come I’m worthless unless your **** gets big when I’m around? How come I’ve only ever felt wanted with disgusting hands on me? Where is my place in this world supposed to be? How am I supposed to feel happy going to work at a job I ******* hate, with people I hate, helping customers who hate me, and spending my entire paycheck on a place to live. It’s a cycle of ****. This life is worthless to exist in. I never thought I’d be this close to ending it all but I’m counting down the days until I get the courage. I’d rather be a nothing than a something here.
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