Unsent text message to Stephanie

You were so sweet, saying how you felt like we got along well, that it’s been long since you connected with someone. I felt like we connected too so that’s why I took the risk and invited you. And you were excited, called and chatted and we started making the plans. Then radio silence.

If you didn’t want to go, you…

I made a mountain out of a molehill these past few months. Maybe even longer. I was stuck in my own self-pity. I hope you’re doing well. And good luck with everything.

I gave you the ammo, now pull the trigger. Show me you would burn through anything just to reach me. Prove I wasn't an escape route. Tell me you didn't reach for my fractured mind out of boredom, out of loneliness, out of the dark. Tell me you found me in the daylight, at your absolute best, and chose the storm…

I think that is why I’m having such a hard time letting go. The hope is still there. We didn’t end on bad terms. Neither of us hurt each other. Neither of us ended things. Our last conversation was a happy one. But the initiation was one sided so I couldn’t keep being the one to make the effort. I still hope that life…

all's well that ends.

And i never will again.