Unsent text message to Cole

I feel jealous towards couples in a healthy relationship. Not because they love each other and do fun couple things. It’s not even about that. Life is just so much better and easier when you have a trusted person by your side to help support you emotionally, physically, financially. Being single isn’t just lonely…

Life and drugs and affairs took our relationship to a place that would never be repaired Neither of us told the truth. We both ended up living in complete lies that ended up our relationships early and sourly demise

Nothing could be said on either behalf so I spit this out here to the ether. I accept my fault and blame…

The illusion of what you’ve done. Hollow and shapeshifting, reflecting my best qualities and wearing them like a mirror. Using my words and my depth to prop yourself up. You might not be exposed yet. You might of pretended like you changed but you are the same person as you always have, I understand now when you said…

I hope the dog is enough that you stop using, mocking and exploiting people. This whole thing really sucked.

If I had acted differently, is there a chance you ever would have chosen me?

If I had waited longer, could you have wanted to really be with me?

If I had told you how much you meant to me, would things be different now?

Fair enough, I won’t anymore. We can be nothing to each other as you wanted to. There will be no effort made on my side or thoughts toward your consideration. Goodbye from my mind now.