Unsent text message to Rebecca

You don't deserve anything from me and stopped doing so long ago. I don't know how it's possible to even respect someone like you nevermind care for. You're never changing, never apologizing, never understanding your own wrong doings, you are dull. You want to believe so badly that you are something, someone. I hope…

I miss you and I'm sorry for everything that happened. So many years gone because I don't know how to let myself be loved. You're an incredible person, and I'm sure you'll find someone who is able to love you the way you need in no time. Its been two weeks and it feels like every day just gets longer. I used to…

To vent about something that happens that I mentioned before on deleted post.

I keep a very small circle, and even then don’t expect anyone to have my back when out of sight.

Not comfort talking with the counselor about this subject.

Self sabotage has been preferred defense mechanism. Deleted posts happen. Acceptance…

Hey mom, thank you for being strong for me. I know you need me to be strong as well especially in these trying times. We struggle with this economy and we have relatives who got sick. I know you're just being strong for me and it ***** me on the inside that Im not as strong for you.

I feel sad but at the same time glad…

For the whatever it’s worth I know you don’t care about me or want to be bothered now that you’re feeling good again

Sometimes I just struggle and I’m lonely. And you’ve just been something consistent. I do understand there’s nothing here

Even after everything that happened/ Even after recognizing the things that didn't work- I still want you to be okay. I still care. I won't reach out and I won't send this. I don't even understand myself to be honest. But, I still hope you are doing okay out there.