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I was scared at the beginning of us. But we were friends and we just clicked. Everything fell together with us as if it was always meant to. It seemed too good to be true but everything looked like this time would truly be different. I had never believed I deserved something as good as this.
And over the course of our relationship I started to believe it. That I deserved this love, this happiness. That the sword I was waiting for was never going to drop. I told you about all of my anxieties and that I was scared you’d walk out and leave me, because that’s what life and past relationships had taught me. That good things don’t last.
But you said you weren’t going anywhere. That our love would bloom like a flower. That we’d pave this road together. You said you loved all of the things I’d previously been told made me “too much”. You loved the affection. You loved how much I cared and the little things I did. You loved my goofiness.
How devastating it is to realize the sword had dropped after all. All those worries that had drifted away suddenly slammed back into me as I realized how much I had let my guard down. I have never felt heartbreak as horrible as this and I’m only a week into it. Everything we’d built for our future. Gone. I’m a swirl of despair just trying to go day by day.
I miss you, mi amor. I can’t believe this is where we are now. I hope our stars realign, but if not, you were my greatest joy. “Muck mas”.
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