iMessage
To the man I once loved,
It's insane how drastically my perspective on life has changed. I always believed I didn't want to date, or get married, or even like romantic gestures. I've come to realize I just didn't want those things with you. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I knew I wasn't safe with you. I always felt the need to be guarded, and I was right to be. For years, you lied to me, and my naive brain thought you were trying to protect me.
The man I'm dating now is kind, sweet, and honest. I didn't realize how much I'd love being taken care of. I never wonder where I stand with him. From the first date, he has made me feel secure. He plans dates and goes out of his way to make me smile. I have never laughed and smiled more in my entire life. I didn't realize people could genuinely be this happy. I want all the things I swore I'd never want, and for the first time, I see value in them.
Thank you for showing me all the ways I don't want to be loved, and for helping me realize that while leaving is hard, nothing is harder than settling. With you I felt suffocated, and with him I can finally breathe again. All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy and at peace, regardless of whether that was with me. I hope you've found both.
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