Unsent text message to Adam

I feel genuine fear, when I miss you. Because then I think maybe you miss me too, or you're probably still trying to forget me and what we were. We're strangers again, yet there's this feeling of closeness because of the people in our lives, the things we've been through.

I feel scared, that these memories I'm still…

and say I love you to myself silently every night, still. I miss you so much it makes my heart physically ache. I wish things hadn't devolved the way they did, and that we could have, at the very least, remained friends. I'll never stop wanting you. Love you, goodnight.

My heart and my head are at constant odds Trying to figure out if I’m responsible for you or not I have two different stories playing out in my head at any given moment one where I leave and one where I stay Logically I know that I deserve more and deserve better but my heart feels the hurt it would cause you and our…

For abandoning myself so willingly. You checked out 3 months in. I stuck around 3 more years. I’m actually embarrassed even though no ever ‘perceived’ our relationship. How ****** is that.

I've been thinking about everything a lot lately.

It's strange looking back and comparing it to where I am now. I think I've slowly picked up the shattered pieces and glued them back together. It doesn't look the same- most of the pieces are still there, but some had to be let go. The arrangement and colours are…

To insult someone for getting help for themselves. It must bother them because you can no longer be manipulated. Then continuously attack who they are, anytime there is an issue. No matter what you do in their eyes, you will always be wrong. So don’t waste precious time on people that will only ever always try to…