Unsent text message to Brian

I keep having flashbacks of you.

When I saw you. The times you tried being civil but I would not listen because my heart was broken.

Why were you so confused about me?

I cried and you told me you just wanted a good time. Sorry that I was not a "good time" for you.

I know. I sent you the “this was my experience” letter. It’s the one that has the truth in it. Not the sugar-coating. Not the one that takes all the blame. The one that owns my actions and lays yours bare. Your particular makeup won’t allow this to stand, so I’m sure you dulled it out after the first few paragraphs…

With my birthday coming, I wonder if you will think of me. It‘s a big one and hard to imagine it without you. I will enjoy it, and those around me will make it special. I just hope I hear from you.

K

If you knew why I avoid your eyes, would you still keep looking at me? If you knew I notice you before I even realise I’m looking, would you find that strange? If you knew how much your attention can change my entire day, would you still give it to me so easily? If you knew how often I replay your words after you’ve…

I loved you so much I let myself be blind to what you were actually like, the stories of your ex the way you hate people staring too long and the way you move like you don’t want to be seen, I saw you and accepted it, you are a villain and I’ll alway know the truth about you and I’m happy others have opened their eyes…

i know i already thanked you before, but. i can't thank you enough for how kind you were when you decided to take my virginity just to keep me from suffering a worse guy. it was really the kindest thing anyone could have done in that crazy situation, and i was so happy to catch up with you last month. i cannot believe…