Unsent text message to Abigail

I caught the last one, I’ll catch the next one too, it’s all being noted. I meant it when I told you to leave me alone. Now I get to go away on holiday again. Try not commit another crime while I’m gone. There was a time I loved you, probably still do. My version of help is just not ruining your life. Shocking I know…

Do I ever cross your mind? Do you ever miss me like I miss you? Does it even matter? I was rejected by you so many times that I lost count.

Words words words,

******* WOORRRRDDDDDSSSS.

I've got em too aplenty -

"********" is one i have at the ready.

i keep trying. i've tried everything. there just doesn't seem to be a way back to anyone who cares. like we're not in the same reality anymore even when we're standing in the same room. i know people care. i just don't know how to reach you

Three weeks, J. I know you’re hurting just as much as I am. How could you? I miss you every single day. I threw up when you broke it off. I spiraled. I lost sleep. I missed work.

Did you lose sleep, too?

I got your note in the box of my things you sent back. I want to write you a letter but every time I do, the anger I…

You had so many months to reach out and to explain yourself… The limit has been exhausted. I erase you from my memory, existence, mind … like you never existed, unfortunately i will have also to erase myself, and bury… It was a very happy version of myself … It was dissipating in pain and tears for many months…