iMessage
You left me, we both know the reasons you gave where a lie. I cowardly cop out so that you could get out and not have any questions asked. You made me feel so much guilt over your mental health and how you needed time and space for it, but friends have seen you on dating apps, told me about your updated pictures. I saw you with that girl. I know its been 4 months and I shouldn't give two s**** if you've moved on now but its not about you moving on in general its the way you left me dangling with hope for us to fix things whilst secretly meeting new girls. Its that you didn't tell me that you had just lost feelings and that instead you b******* about how hard your life was and how it was all "for now". You threw around words to make sure there was no permanence and made closure impossible for me. You left a door open that you knew i would find impossible to close. But f*** you.
Everytime we've seen eachother about you've turned back bar that one time which I'll get too. But genuinely you have to know that turning back has killed me a little because why care enough to check if its me if you're gonna treat me like a stranger and not even give me the decency of an awkward smile (yk the average british one you give when you accidentally make eye contact in the street) but no you just look through me as you turn around. The only time you didn't was the last time I saw you, you were with a girl I couldn't quite see her face cause her jacket covered it and i dont even know if you saw me but yeah ik you may have moved on now.
I don't want to be the crazy ex girlfriend omg, but seriously It hurts to know you could turn back to see if it was me from so far away and then not even notice me from so close as we walked towards eachother. It hurts to know that what we had was full of so many lies. It hurts most to know you couldn't even give me the decency of honesty when ending things. Like my god I told you I hated liars and you told me you would never lie but you fake cried to me as you left, talking about how things had been hard and you tried to shift so much guilt on to me.
Also i forgave you for what you did to me that last night you were round when we were together but it does f****** still hurt to know you didnt hear me say no so many times. And no thats not an accusation but i just need you to know even if i've forgiven you it still plays on my mind sometimes.
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