Unsent text message to Connor

Ashton,

I have said it before, numerous times now, that I've constantly had this suspicion that you have written to me, but I also admit that it's not only possible, but more likely, that it's not you. It's the shear number of coincidences and the length it has gone on that gives me pause on accepting the latter.

More…

Thank you for being you. Spending the day with me. Listening. Always showing up. Being somone i can count on. Finally l trying me breathe knowing somone has my back. Ive been doing s*** alone for a long time and you definately showed me something. You always keep your word and you always make time. I’ll never forget…

I want to see you

T

I can't. I just can't anymore. Please reach out. Please let me know that you miss me too. Please oh God please! I can't take this pain anymore. NOTHING is working. NOTHING! I need you. I need us to talk. I need to feel your words uncover me. I need to touch you deep inside with my words.

PLEASE!

Will likely be you. Maybe u won’t think me so weak if I explain my reasoning..

I don’t know if u have really acknowledged that it’s because of me you are free from your night terrors and frequent anxiety and even though the pills the doctor that I encouraged you over and over again to go see, helped and that you…

Sitting here in bed eating mini muffins and you came to mind. You let me have all the snacks in bed. I miss that 🙃