Unsent text message to Shane

One day I'll wake up and you wont be the first thought to cross my mind. One day I'll wake up and wont experience earth shattering heartbreak every morning. One day I'll be able to go to bed without pretending that you are here holding me as I sleep. One day it wont hurt anymore. One day I'll have to let you go and…

You’re at the top of all of my recommended friends lists on every social media platform I use. You should add me. That would be the highlight of my day to get that request. Would you accept if I added you? I feel like that is too risky of a move for me to make right now since I was the one to reach out last. I feel…

I typed a long message, but I backspaced and deleted it all. I think it could all be put in a simple question.

I guess, a part of me really wants to know, if at any point in time did you feel the same way… As what I felt about you?

I've always had undeniable feelings for you from the day we met. Now that we are both exploring those feelings together, there is so much I want to say. It's too soon of course but after 5 years of friendship, you know me too well. You know what every sound I make, every facial expression means. I'll never be able to…

It’s actually so annoying that I do and I’m on this ******* website again writing this but I do

It’s not like a switch I can just turn on and off, you know

I suppose you still don’t know me well enough to know how devoted I get when I choose someone

It’s frustrating bc no matter what I say you’re going to doubt it too…

I know now that you never loved me. Yes, we are both happy now but you should have done the right thing by not screwing my chances with true happiness 5 years ago with someone who had the capacity to love me the way I need. I don't care if you think they are beneath me. They show me love, the way I've only dreamt of…