Unsent text message to Jacob

I see all of these “I miss you” unsent messages and I always wonder if one of them is you speaking to me. I sometimes scroll thru them just to see if any of them in some small way relate to me and just maybe it will be you. I miss you, and I shouldn’t but I do.

Everything went wrong for me yesterday. Nothing bad at first but the consistency of bad luck almost made me break down completely, yet I kept going.

Then the last thing that went wrong broke me down, my dog almost died. He’s fine right now and I’m thankful that the worse that could have happened did not. I wanted your…

Things ended messy between us. That was not what I wanted, even if I did have my own doubts/concerns near the end. But there are so many things I'm thankful for, that I probably never expressed them adequately. I'm sorry for that. So here goes my attempt to correct that a tiny bit.

Thank you for the best birthday I've…

I would never send this to her but… As time passes, I learn more and more about myself. Slowly I’ve been dissecting my own psychology preparing to rebuild. Acknowledging all my trauma, trying my best to be superhuman in a sense of awareness of my own being. I think often about how my trauma impacted our relationship…

Forgive me for my one-word response yesterday. I was upset, I will admit that.

Your words were basically confirmation for me.

Maybe we are better off as just friends.

I wish you had just told me how you felt…

Beauty can fade, you've gotta make sure what you're left with is still beautiful