Unsent text message to Mary

I had a dream about you last night. I felt joy, curiosity and excitement seeing you. I haven’t seen you in almost 3 years now, yet you still cross my mind and dreams. Im sorry for how things ended with us, just know I loved you so much. We weren’t good for each other at the time. Sometimes I think maybe things would…

That was tentative outline of plan A

but it’s always been someone else with you. even as a facade, you have to realize how faulty that is, right? anyway, i shouldn’t have to ask. you didn’t have to ask for me to put you first, i just cared enough not to risk it. not how you did. i know we’re different. not reciprocating that doesn’t make you all big and…

I think it’s the unknown that keeps me here Suspended wondering why this is how I’m feeling I can usually tell these things I can tell what someone wants from me But not you . I’m confused and kinda hurt but I also understand I just want .. no I need transparency from at least someone in my life . If you want me to…

thank you thank you thank you so much. i love you and appreciate you so much. to anyone else the change you made today may have been subtle, but to me it was very drastic and very important. your emails sounded like you again. you sent multiple. you showed that you cared. you have no idea how just a little extra…

Sorry for the typing rant earlier, it’s not what you think. Thing is, that it not jealousy, probably like you think. Yes it does strike a nerve. When we are working to bridging is gap and it comes to an abrupt stop. That puts me in limbo so I wait and I wait until we can resume. Then we resume to just to get the…