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Everything went wrong for me yesterday. Nothing bad at first but the consistency of bad luck almost made me break down completely, yet I kept going.
Then the last thing that went wrong broke me down, my dog almost died. He’s fine right now and I’m thankful that the worse that could have happened did not. I wanted your comfort through it but that’s not possible anymore.
Today I feel nothing, just numb, robotic. Not because I’m over us, that will never happen, but because the realisation that we will never talk, see each other and touch ever again hasn’t fully crushed down on me yet.
It’s like the calm before the storm.
I read the last text of your reasons and I considered that maybe you wanted me to give you reassurance so that we can try again. But I already tried to put your mind at ease with these things and you didn’t listen to me, so the right thing for me to do was just let it be.
Did I just slam the door on us? Or was it already closed?
This emotional numbness is allowing me to see that you are a liar, you always planned to run, your goal was to hurt me and you will do this again to someone else.
I can’t wait till I’m crushed by truely accepting the end because at least I will have some peace again even though I don’t remember who I was before you and I will always love you.
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