Unsent text message to Nicole

This morning, I was in such a rush. I didn't check your online status until now.

I saw a post of someone not taking the breakup well, a few weeks back and I related. Seeing it from the point of view of the other person, how uncomfortable and unsafe they felt. I wish how I handled things wouldn't leave a sour taste, and…

And just fast forward to the part where we **** and then go are separate ways its less painful in the long run i promise you that

I wish I had the resources to simply disappear overnight. Go somewhere where I am unknown, I can live in peace & happiness on my own terms. To not be able to be found by anyone toxic, negative, or disrespectful of boundaries. In short, out of your reach forever!

I am doing better , I am finally studying as you wanted me to. I am better than before. I wish you were here though.

Needed for everything I did but unwanted for who I was,

Tolerated for my willingness to self abandon to keep the peace

Wanted, desired but never loved.

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. We’re the same and you know it. We’re never getting back together but damn I miss you!