Unsent text message to Paige

And just fast forward to the part where we **** and then go are separate ways its less painful in the long run i promise you that

I wish I had the resources to simply disappear overnight. Go somewhere where I am unknown, I can live in peace & happiness on my own terms. To not be able to be found by anyone toxic, negative, or disrespectful of boundaries. In short, out of your reach forever!

I am doing better , I am finally studying as you wanted me to. I am better than before. I wish you were here though.

Needed for everything I did but unwanted for who I was,

Tolerated for my willingness to self abandon to keep the peace

Wanted, desired but never loved.

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. We’re the same and you know it. We’re never getting back together but damn I miss you!

i know it's because she figured out there's something "special" between us from how you acted in the dance space. and now you're trying to minimize damage and avoid jeopardizing something important in your life by changing the way we interact. and how we connect when you're on your retreats, which she probably wants…