Unsent text message to Barbara

despite everything I hope life treats you well and that’s what’s ******* wrong with me I don’t even want the ppl who have done me wrong to be upset in life

I forgive u for what you did to me I don’t care what you think of me but I hope life treats u well I hope you don’t have to be in that dark place you were when you…

I CANT DO THIS TODAY!!!! Please come and get me and hide me away at your place. I can’t. I can’t do this today. But I’m also too scared to see you. I want my brain to stop! I can’t do this today!!!

I want to go to sleep.

I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what’s happening, what’s real - all I know is I love you and I can’t live without you. You told me you will love me in all our lives and that you wanted to try again in the next one. I can’t be without you, my love. So I’ll meet you in the next life. If you’re already there I’ll…

You became a chapter I never expected to care about this much. Somewhere between the little conversations, the stolen glances, the awkward hellos, and all the moments I kept replaying in my head, I fell for you.

You will always be my favorite chapter, but sadly, you became my worst ending. I’ll always be grateful for…

I’m tryin to date again. But it’s so hard. The last time I tried. I went with you for almost 6months, when you pulled away I felt it. But I still held on. Even after you told me no… I still held on.. and some piece of me After you blocked me.. well i still hold on. I can’t just get attached and let go so easily. And…