Unsent text message to Christina

For the rest of my life. I’m going to hold my breath around every corner. I am going to hold out hope that you will come for me, for us.

The person i finally chose. Reminds me of you. Because They've ignored me for days. And oddly it makes me want them more....

Maybe I’m not delusional completely… That felt more calculated… I still never got an answer that I’ve asked a few times are here … but I think your listening now ( or reading haha) do you think of me when you are alone after the porch light goes on … hmm

Okay okay sleep I need sleep . 😂

I don’t understand and I’m struggling to set it aside: I ask you to go look at the moon because it’s breathtaking, I tell you I miss you because I do, and you tell me it’s “dehumanizing.” I genuinely do not understand.

How can you, and you have—always, taken everything beautiful and turn it so ******* ugly? I know we…

i was unmoored. every shred of what i thought made me, ME, was taken. the only ballast left was that i was a mother.

when you left, and i was relieved because it was torture to not be US anymore. because what we became was not us.

and so i let the wolf in. i allowed him to slowly, softly, gently, erode those parts i…

If you need to vent, I’ll listen. If you want my opinion, I’ll give it.