Unsent text message to Kyle

i was unmoored. every shred of what i thought made me, ME, was taken. the only ballast left was that i was a mother.

when you left, and i was relieved because it was torture to not be US anymore. because what we became was not us.

and so i let the wolf in. i allowed him to slowly, softly, gently, erode those parts i…

If you need to vent, I’ll listen. If you want my opinion, I’ll give it.

It’s so dumb, but I’ve never had anyone think so deeply about me and make such an effort for me to go enjoy nature and the stars at the planetarium. It sticks to me like super glue, the first person to ever listen and take thoughtful initiative on what I’d like. I’d never experienced that love or care, and despite it…

Damn you . Bc I want to say hello but I said I wouldn’t come over there .

You tried to "read" me and instead got read yourself. Just always know that we can go there. Faster than they can, faster than the average person. How'd those apple taste? Bitter I hope.

I know I desperately need to just cut the cord and be done with it, but God it's so hard to bring myself to do it.

Years of precious memories with you that I can see the perfect way to preserve. I can see the path clearly in my mind, the path to understand each other and be what we were again.

I can see that path…