iMessage
I would send this.
Since I don’t honestly believe it would make a difference I simply won’t.
Here goes.
I never needed perfect nor did I want it. What I needed and wanted was the ability for each to own their side of the fence.
Like if you make a mess you are responsible to clean it up. If I make a mess I clean it up. If we both are messy we own our parts.
I get cause and effect. I understand it. It isn’t that I don’t know that if I do something and you get mad that it wasn’t caused by what I did. My point has and always will be that two wrongs don’t make a right. I only asked that you owned the wrong you created independently of what I do wrong and vice versa.
Why?
Just because it is justified from cause and effect doesn’t change how the person you wronged feels about it. Sure they caused it, but your reaction poorly also causes them to feel about it. So the point wasn’t about right or wrong or a cascade of events about who started what. It was about healing the connection longer term by telling them you see you still hurt them and choosing to do something about it.
I guess that is a wild concept? Too much to ask? I don’t even know why this should be a thing to have to explain.
Sometimes it’s important to prioritize yourself, sometimes it’s important to prioritize others and sometimes it’s important to prioritize letting it go. Knowing which is wisdom.
Everything in moderation …. Even Moderation itself.
Let that sink in. Reflect. Maybe you will see it takes two in all things to make a relationship work.
If that can’t even happen in the beginning, good luck throwing a new born in the mix. Adding one of the biggest life challenges to a team that doesn’t handle the basics well is like throwing it to the wolves.
I digress. At this point I will simply step off my soap box.
What do I know anyways. It’s why this is unsent.
Message Unsent