iMessage
Today I am having constant mixed emotions about you. Honestly everyday I am having these emotions. One second I love you with all my heart and just hope for your return. The next, I’m realizing how much you have managed to break me down without even being present anymore. I think about all of our good moments and then I’m shoved into the ones where you pushed me away. I used to be blinded by all the positive things I felt with you. Now, I can’t even think of a good moment without thinking about how okay you were with throwing it all away. I can’t enjoy the love I had from you without thinking about how emotionless you became in a literal second. Everything I gained from you is immediately lost in the way you treat me now. Like I’m nothing, like I was never anything at all. I was once one the best things to you and now I’m a stranger. You are still something I cherish deeply. It sucks that I’m the only one between us that feels that way. It makes me feel pretty worthless Alex. I don’t even care to not say your name right now. I don’t need the stupid karma and comments. I need you to know that you really hurt me. I know you’re not on here. I know you never will be. But if you’re here and you see this post. Yes, it is for you and yes I am mad at you. I’m so ******* angry. I was treated so important yet casual at the same time and if you took five ******* seconds to think about it you wouldn’t be so stupid and confused right now about why I’m so ****** up over it. Genuinely **** you right now. You make me feel crazy like genuinely crazy. I don’t know how to handle this. I genuinely can’t deal with this feeling all the time. I’m not even exaggerating when I say this is ALL THE TIME. You are always playing in my mind literally 24/7. I could be having the most fun ever and all I hear in my ******* head is your stupid name and all I see is your stupid beautiful face. I will never forget you but I know you will definitely forget about me. I was just a stepping stone in your life. A experience. Nothing more.
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