Unsent text message to Stephanie

I was in sociology class and my teacher said "self-control" as he read the slide.

it made me think of self-control by frank ocean. it made me think of you.

in the song there's these lyrics "made you use your self-control" and "made me lose my self-control."

did I make you use your self-control? could I make you lose your…

This summer I screwed up when I reached out to you and I left it on a stupid bit of messages. I was struggling a little this summer. I need some form of closure, but I also don’t want to put a whole lot of emotions on you, nor make you feel like all I have to say so emotionally heavy—like every time we talk, it’s…

I hope you’re ok. I know you’re starting school soon if you haven’t started already. I hope everything goes well for you. I hope you stick it out and do amazingly. I just miss you. So so much. I miss you in my life. I love you. I think about you everyday. I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. I wish things went the…

I can't remember. But I really feel like you do, or did, at least.

Last night I had a dream that there was a huge duffel bag in my space (my house? Maybe my store? Something) and it was filled with all manner of juggling equipment. I didn't remember it until about an hour ago.

All I know is that in the dream, right…

A little ****** up, buried deep,

Counting promises I couldn't keep.

Bad luck taught me how to stand,

With shaking fists and dirty hands…

know or understand why you think of me everyday. You poisoned everything we shared and tossed me like rubbish with your lies, betrayals, and disrespect. Forget about me. I don't wish to linger in your thoughts. You didn't deserve me when you had me fully and completely, and you don't deserve me in memory.